+ CAUTION: VERY VERY LONG + FURTHER THAN FAR FAR AWAY LAND

i figured i should update this thing since i feel bad that i read pplz blogs and i don't share in return (ehh hum noelle and jen jen <3) so it has been like 2 years i think since i blogged on this..many things have happen..gone outside las vegas for once went to the dirty south and bahamas cruise for a week for spring break this year..last year was exhausting and this year is just a beginning but wow its halfway thru the year already..lets see i think yahve and i figured out our wedding day..but no worry it wont be for a while since i want to finish my classes and pass my boards for respiratory therapy so who really knows what day that is..all i know is we are about to get a year older and we just need to start thinking of our future together..i can't live a life of just having fun when all i can think of is the FUTURE..so i'm busting my bootie trying to make something of me to start a loving family in the near future is the next step well wedding then family haha

i will be graduating around april 2009 my school doesn't even know but i know that is the latest but my financial aid said i'll be done january 2009 but who knows my school has plenty of hidden agenda and surprises every week it seems like so i really don't know..all i know is i'm counting months that i will be done..yahve just went back to college to finish his degree so he can finish up his board test for orthotist and eventually 2 years later become both orthotist and prosthetist i hope i spelled that correctly..our plans are vigorous but with that we are bound to finish something we believe in that will help us in the future..practially that is all i can think about is the future so don't mind me talking about it cuz what i'm doing right now is not only for me its for yahve, my future family and the knowledge and security i need for the future..it may not make sense right now but for this moment it feels just right..

i feel like i'm still the same person as always kind hearted, understandable, sensitive, but that is just me when i'm with my friends..i still have a lot to learn about myself but its getting there some how..even though i may have good qualities at home i'm different i have so much anger to let out maybe cuz my environment at home is different than when i'm with friends or by myself i let myself zone out of my problems and just listen to someone else's life besides mine.. neway i have to say a story that happen a couple of days ago n i hope this person don't read this cuz it will pertain to this person well this person called me needing my help to pick the person up and the person's friend well i didn't hesitate to not help i did right away this person asked me to pick her up and drop them off to a casino which was fine but i ended up being a shoffer however u spell it take me here and there basically in the end i had to vent and called a friend cuz in my gut feeling it didn't feel right..well the friend after driving this person to places did not even pay an ounce of gas n i was 3/4 of the tank when it was full before i picked them up..so when all was done they thanked me but in my heart it wasn't enough i mean is that so wrong to feel? but neway i called my friend she explained to me her thoughts n how i should have kicked them out of the curb when they were asking for more favors..yahve was right he knew that was gonna happen..but ya i just felt used but i brushed it off but just felt not right in my heart for doing the favor cuz when it happens again..this person has no one else n this person will come to me over and over for the rest of my life cuz this person knows i wont say no.. i'm sorry though i'm the type of person that sees the good stuff about people why should i focus on the bad about the person when that is what makes them ugly so i focus on the person their soft side n sides that i can see when they are with me that is why i have my point of view on any situations..

sometimes i get so confused why i get tortured for not being happy when in my eyes my life is wonderful and fortunate more than some people..i guess my family kinda puts negativeness in my life that i bring it upon myself to think negative..don't get me wrong i love my family but we definitely not close to talk about feelings and to me maybe that is why i break down so easily..but like i said i gotta think for the FUTURE i have to be strong and prove myself that i can be somebody even when people put me down or think i am wrong..

well enough about that..neway been in school for the past few years..still going..visited mexico, florida, bahamas for this past 2 years i haven't blogged..yahve wants to go to egypt next but i'm afraid to go to africa cuz elections are still going and its horrible systems there..i just want to visit state to state in the US and then spain, greece, tahiti are my main picks =) which i know yahve will let it come true..if not i will make it come true for the both of us..  i am so lucky to have found him and he picked me cuz he completes me..he will do nething in his power to make me happy and i love that about him..when i'm upset he finds ways to keep me smiling and motivate me why i am doing the things i need to be doing..cuz its not only me no more..its about us and what we can do together..everything i'm doing is for us..every breath he takes he will do nething to make me happy.. =) all i can do is smile..i found my match..he is not boring he is always surprising me with something..its a match made in heaven.. but boy scorpios could be unpredictable tho..but i balance him and we balance one another after that..

so now that i have updated everyone else should too..cuz by the time people finishing reading this u would either have no emotion, cry, laugh, think about stuff, just plain mad, or say ur feelings..those are not my intentions this is a blog its my opinion my thoughts friends are always there for u no matter what and all u can do is just grow in the inside with everything that comes to u..things happen for a reason and if they don't then their is not learning experience..who said life would be easy if life is easy then we all would be in heaven and not be put on earth every lifetime we have to find purpose and to grow.. i want to make something of myself that's the goal and be happy for the rest of eternity..

THE END ZZZzzZ..time for me..well actually really WOW yes jen jen and noelle WOW!!! hugs and kisses